March 28, 2003 | 4:32 PM Central Time
It'll last forever

I recently saw the movie "Can't Hardly Wait" a while ago. The film tells the story of a young man, somewhat thin and blonde. He has pined for the most beautiful girl in his school for years, ever since he first saw her reach into her backpack and pull out the same type of Pop-Tart he was eating at that very moment. But alas, the love did not come his way.

She was dating the school jock - your typical stereotyped football player, who picked on nerds and picked his nose. At least, that was my take on his off-screen activities. She did not love the young man who had spent his entire high school career pining for her. Finally, on the last night after graduation, the young man gave her a letter at a party, a letter that told her everything about how he had felt. She didn't know him, and never knew of his deep fondness of everything she did. And she rejected him.

But as is typical in Hollywood, there was a happy ending. He was at the train station, getting ready to leave for the East Coast. (Sounding kind of familiar�) He picked up his bags and stood up to get on the train. Then she came bursting through the door, and apologized for rejecting him. It was the circumstances� not him, that made her fail to love. But she thanked him, and there was a gentle kiss. Music swelled in the background, and the camera panned up as they separated, him to the train, her to the world outside. She turned away, just as he looked back. And he turned away, just in time to miss her gaze. They walked in separate directions. Then, they turned and met each other in the middle. Another kiss. And a promise to never let each other go.

I don't know why this movie means so much to me, perhaps because I am in love... I've loved him since the first time that I talked to him. I've never felt this complete in my entire life... and there were times where I wasn't sure if he loved me and truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. But now, I have no doubts. I'm sure that more will pop up later as they always do, but, my faith is always restored. I have doubts, but, only because I am so scared to lose him.

This man is the only person in this world who has ever made me feel like I was someone, someone special... someone who mattered. I can honestly say that I learned what love is from loving him.

"Live your life trying to create memories that last forever."

I have so many wonderful memories with him, I look back on our first conversations together and smile... we just had no idea.



before | after


Goodbye... and EFF YOU! - January 14, 2004
This... sucks. - November 30, 2003
High on Life... and hyper as hell. - November 28, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving, not so happy. - November 27, 2003... Thanksgiving Day
100 exciting things about me... hehe,.. not. - November 25, 2003