And the world comes crashing down...
I feel so damn lonely.
Justin really is ignoring me, I know his new screen name, he was just online.
I know that the guy needs his space but, damn...
I'm not sure what to think anymore. I have nobody now. All of my friends and the people that I care about are out-of-state and I don't talk to them as much as I would like to. Mainly because it gets so damn expensive.
I've been trying to sort out my thoughts for the past couple days... I really need to quit doing that while I am at work. I think people are starting to see through my excuse to run to the bathroom. "I have to pee."
It's true that I have urination frequency disorder, especially when I am up on my feet for eight hours a day... but lately, I have been going in there to cry and get ahold of my bearings and get back to work.
I hate being so weak, I never was before. I found strength in my weakness and was okay. I don't find that anymore. I used to find peace when I was confused. I used to know the person that I was.
I'm not so sure anymore... who I am.
For some reason, I feel like painting my room is going to make me feel better. I feel like being surrounded by color will do me some good instead of believing that I live in a word in shades of grey.
There are a lot of things I would like to get accomplished before the end of the year... I know that I will get my room done, I am doing that within a couple of weeks. I would also like to get a nice schooling schedule, find time to start web design and programming again and find time for my friends online. I also need a few additions to my wardrobe... I need new shoes. Shoes are cool.
I'm not turning into your typical teenager. That's why I walk around the house with baggy clothse and sunglasses on... yeah... I like shoes.
Before I forget, I would like to thank Eric for getting me a Gold membership. He is Perceptionss at diaryland. Drop him a line, he's a great guy. He gives out smiley face keychains.
http://perceptionss.diaryland.com
Goodbye... and EFF YOU! - January 14, 2004
This... sucks. - November 30, 2003
High on Life... and hyper as hell. - November 28, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving, not so happy. - November 27, 2003... Thanksgiving Day
100 exciting things about me... hehe,.. not. - November 25, 2003