July 16, 2003 | 8:24 PM Central Time
Lies and Deceit

There are times in life when you hurt the people that you love most.

I've done it... more than once.

There are very few people that I actually trust not to hurt me... very few people who I can depend on, very few people who I can confide in when I am scared, or sad, or ready to get revenge on the world. But there are a few.

To list off a few... Howard, Justin, Melody, Thomas, David, Mike, and Laura.

These are my seven people in the world that I can tell absolutely ANYTHING to. And two of these people... I have hurt very badly in the past month. I don't know how to explain how the words that have been coming off of my lips have been coming back and hitting me in the face... tearing at me like broken glass.

Lies, deceit, rape, bisexuals...

Welcome to my world.

The point is that I have hurt people, and I would do anything I could to take it all back... Although I am thrilled because I have worked things out with one of these people... the other is still deeply pissed off at me and has every right to be... but, it's not just a case where I can turn the page or close the book and make it all better.

All I can do is say that I am sorry... and that I hope that you read this, and I wasn't trying to take what little love that you still have in your life away from you. I honestly do you love you like a sister, Melody. And I hope that someday you will forgive me... slap me around a little bit first.

before | after

---

Goodbye... and EFF YOU! - January 14, 2004
This... sucks. - November 30, 2003
High on Life... and hyper as hell. - November 28, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving, not so happy. - November 27, 2003... Thanksgiving Day
100 exciting things about me... hehe,.. not. - November 25, 2003